A letter to my nineteen year old self

Dear D,

Exactly 8 years ago you were turning 19.

It was the first birthday that you experienced in France, abroad and alone. Well, not quite alone because your amazing friends had already planned a surprise birthday party for you. How lucky were you to have people that loved you so much after knowing you for so little.

Yet, back in the day you were so hard on yourself.

You were hard and naive at the same time. One of the things you thought you should do was to find that first real love that will stay forever. You really did believe in fairy-tales. You compared yourself to your mom, to your sister and to your friends. You thought that at 19 you should have been on your way to find THE ONE (whatever that’s supposed to mean) and to have life all figured out.

Oh how wrong you were! You thought it was matter of age. You thought it was a matter of comparing lives with other people. Little did you know, that the only thing you had to do was to live your own life, love it every day and cherish all those next to you.

Admit it, if there is something you cannot complain is about all the amazing people life has given you at every single stage.

You also understood, after many years and many heartbreaks, that life was about being happy everyday and loving your friends and family. But most importantly, life was about loving yourself first. It took you years, tears and pain to get to this conclusion. But trust me, when you will turn 27, you will be finally happy in your skin and grateful for everything you have gone through. You will envy nobody because you have understood that each destiny is different and that life is not a competition. You will be grateful everyday for the good and not so good moments. The good moments that become amazing memories and the bad ones the become good lessons.

In 2019, you will know that you can be an opened book, with no secrets, and that you can speak out your mind. You will not care about those that will judge you and you will love every second with the people that are there for you.

You will be happy that your life is based on people and traveling, because this is what will teach you the most in life. And those people, that you will meet throughout life in so many different ways, will love you back for who you are.

Trust me, at the age of 26, you will stop feeling lonely. This is not because you will be in a serious relationship. Actually, you will be very single and you will appreciate being in that state. Moreover, you will be actually living solo in a big city, but you will eventually love to spend time by yourself, with a good book, a cup of tea and some candles. Before you will turn 27, you will understand that the best company is yourself. That is because life has taught you to differentiate being alone and feeling alone. You will understand that it is better to sleep alone and be happy than to sleep next to someone that makes you feel lonely.

Perhaps, the only thing that will not change is that you will speak out your mind without filters and without fears. That is something you have to work on. But let’s admit it, just like when you were 19, many people will not like it. The only difference is that at 26 you will not care anymore. You have learned that real friends are unconditional. And you will be so happy because by the time you turn 27 you will realize that many of your best friends today were there at your 19th birthday.

In 2019, you will be certain that almost everything happens for a reason and that you can manage most situations. You will learn that being happy is a daily choice and that you have many reasons to have a smile on your face.

You will learn to live the moment and to flow one day at a time.

You will stop caring about what people think, about your body, material possessions or your personality.

You will try so many experiences in life that will teach you that real long-lasting happiness only comes when you listen to yourself. The rest is just noise.

You’ll learn to put yourself first and the fears aside. And you will know that this learning process is constant and daily.

Only life will tell how the next eight years will be. I only have one wish for you left, I hope you will keep smiling and feeling in peace with yourself in the future.

This article is For All Those Women in the process of feeling okay in their minds or their bodies in order to love themselves. Let life take its course and accept the situations life might present to you. Just don’t forget your right to speak up your mind. Live one day at a time and leave your fears aside. The rest will settle down by itself, as long as you always put yourself first. Trust me, things will work out and the best is yet to come. <3

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