Tonight, like the past week, I was coloring my Mandala book. That moment feels like running: you empty your brain and literally think about nothing.
Although, today I had a moment of reflection in which I was remembering the books about feminism that I saw this afternoon at Shakespeare & Co. (more to come about that place) and then, I had a flashback.
Over a year and half ago I broke up with my ex, it was the most special relationship I’ve ever had as well as the most heartbreaking one (and trust me I have been hurt many times). But this specific one changed me and made me feel, once recovered, more of a woman and more in love with myself than I have never experienced before.
I always considered myself as someone who is in a constant pursue of women’s rights and all rights. I also believed that the challenges of living abroad for so many years have made me immune to any type of heartbreak. I thought, as naive as it may sound, that I had already suffered enough previously.
Well, not really. It wasn’t until my ex ditched me over a text message while I was on a business trip over 11 500 kilometers away from Paris. All of a sudden, I felt like someone had killed something inside of me, I felt like I became dust. A simple text message proved to me that I had stopped loving myself and I had given too much to someone that did not deserve it. I felt that I failed to myself.
The next day after landing home, I got the ovaries (aka guts) to go to work with jet-lag and no sleep and then see him, face to face, so he can take his things out of my house. I believe you can all imagine how that went. We fought, we yelled, we cried, we hugged, we cried again, we stared into a blank spot for many minutes holding hands, sitting on the pavement outside my building and sobbing while his things and his plants remained next to us.
During that – nonsense – conversation one of the reasons he mentioned of why he could not be with me, was, and I quote, “too much of a feminist”.
Where to begin….
Let’s begin by saying that this same man, around a month before, had made his first sexist comment when he saw me arriving from work and he dared to say “You are wearing a shirt that is way too see-through.”
It does not matter what I was wearing (but for the curious it was a regular white shirt for work). I also won’t get into details about how the fight went (of course I responded, as the woman with rights and voice that I am, and initiated a fight).
Today, I am over him, but I am definitely not over my fight against sexism. By far my experience is still nothing compared to what other women have to go through. I just feel there are so many things on which we have to speak up, educate, debate, listen, reflect, act and improve.
Voilà, here you go, my first article of my first blog.
This is a blog for all those women (like me) who need/want a window to learn and talk about topics that matter so that we can all just help one another.
Keep on going cause you are doing great. <3